Rest for Hospice Workers
“You cannot pour from an empty cup.”
“Put on your oxygen mask first.”
“Take care of yourself so you can take care of others.”
You’ve heard these before, right? And when you hear them you might:
Roll your eyes
Agree with them in theory but have no idea how to actually do them, or
Feel shame and make an internal commitment to “do better”
I know they sound pithy. I know they don’t seem to apply to your busy life.
But at the end of the day, if you don’t heed their advice, you are heading further down the road of burnout.
The End of Superman and Superwoman
You may think that you can “do it all.” And if so, I have some bad news for you.
You can’t.
The era of #girlboss is fading. Quiet quitting - even among hospice staff - is a thing. We are in a new era of knowing and living the importance of rest and the ever-elusive “balance.”
Your body has limits.
Your energy has limits.
Your heart has limits.
Stop trying to do it all.
I Don’t Have Time to Rest
If you find yourself thinking you don’t have time to rest, here are some hard truths:
We all have the same 24 hours in a day.
You can’t afford NOT to rest.
If YOU don’t make the time to rest, your BODY will make you.
In the New York Times Bestselling book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk explains that trauma affects your mind and your body. Undealt-with trauma can change your brain function and weaken your immune system, leading to illnesses.
Why is this important for hospice and other EoL professionals to know? First of all, you work in a field where death is common. And death, even if it’s common, can still be a traumatic event.
Second, as you know, your job is very busy. You are constantly on the go, and there is a huge sense of unpredictability to your work. As a result, you may not be taking the necessary time to rest.
How do I Take Time to Rest as an End-of-Life Worker?
As a society, we don’t get enough sleep, and sleep is essential for good health. According to the U.S. National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute, an ideal amount of sleep per night for an adult is 7-9 hours. In the U.S., more than a third of adults get less than 7 hours a night, according to the National Council on Aging.
Anecdotally, it seems to me that EoL workers are in the not-getting-enough-sleep camp.
And it’s not just about sleep, although that is crucial. It’s also about physical and mental rest. Here are some ways to incorporate more rest into your busy days:
Ask yourself, “Who else can do that?” The “that” can be anything from laundry to calling back a client to “baking” your son’s cake for his birthday. (Hello, grocery store bakery….) Put down your lasso, Wonder Woman, and let Harris Teeter help you.
Start your day with five minutes of quiet. You can pray, journal, daydream, or read. Sip some coffee or tea. Stare out the window. Five minutes will feel luxuriously long if you normally just hit the ground running in the morning.
Carve out time every day for a restful activity you enjoy. Maybe it’s walking slowly, reading a book, knitting, or doing a crossword puzzle. Pro Tip: make it screen-free time.
I know your job is hard. I know it seems you have more to do than can fit into a 24-hour window. You might need to lay down that cape, readjust expectations, take a few things off your plate, and make the time for more rest.
Because, as L’Oréal would say… you’re worth it.
If you are an EoL worker who is struggling with this whole rest concept, try our Transition Routine! It’s a 5-minute audio file you can listen to after work so you can go from emotional overwhelm to peaceful presence. Click here to download our Transition Routine!