Feel Like You’re Expressing Your Emotions? Think Again.
It happens multiple times a day: on podcasts, in conversation, and sometimes even coming out of my own mouth. We aim to express a feeling, yet we are actually talking about what we think. It happens 99.9% of the time when we say the following phrase:
“I feel like…”
And when we do, the literal translation is:
“I think…”
That’s right. Whenever we say we feel like, the next word out of our mouth is most likely NOT an actual emotion. In fact, nine times out of ten, “I think” is a direct substitute for “I feel like.”
“I feel like I’m never going to finish this project.” = “I think I’m never going to finish this project.”
“I feel like I’ve been here before.” = “I think I’ve been here before.”
“Do you ever feel like you can’t express your emotions accurately?” = “Do you ever think you can’t express your emotions accurately?”
Now, like any good rule, there are a few exceptions. When we say “feel like,” it doesn’t always translate perfectly to “think.”
We could be using a simile.
“I feel like I’m between a rock and a hard place.” Though technically, substituting think still works here, the sentiment is to express a feeling in a comparative way.
“I feel like a third wheel.”
We are, like, totally using “like” as a, ya know, filler.
“I feel, like, totally gross after I eat pizza rolls.”
Closely related is that “it feels like” usually translate to “it seems.”
It feels like we haven’t seen each other in forever! = It seems we haven’t seen each other in forever!
Why do I even bring this up, you ask? Simple: words matter. And if we are actually trying to name our emotions, which is a good thing, we need to be aware of the ways in which we might be missing the mark.
There is nothing wrong with saying we “feel like” anything’; it’s just important to note that we are not actually expressing a feeling. I personally believe that, as a society, we could use more feeling-naming in ourselves (awareness) and others (empathy.) If we think we are actually naming feelings because the word “feel” is in the sentence, we may be mistaken.
So the next time you hear “I feel like” in a podcast, in a conversation, or coming out of your own mouth, substitute “I think.” And you’ll start to see how frequently we all “feel like” we are expressing our emotions, when we actually aren’t.